The Resurrection

I'm dying.

Aren't we all?

We all are headed for death.

But in between birth and death,

We have to exist.

We have to live.

Life is our greatest reward for dying.

Living is our majestic revenge to death.

-M.G.

I am alive! I lived! After a year of hiatus, I am finally blogging, again. I cannot promise to get back into blogging like how I used to, but I will try my best to blog every once in a while.

What transpired in my life during my blogging hiatus? The following are the highlights:

April 2014

I enjoyed my summer vacation with my family, relatives and friends.

I got into a relationship.

May 2014

I watched 2NE1's All or Nothing World Tour concert in SM MOA Arena with ate KF.

Mama and I had fun at Ocean Park and Star City.

June 2014

I volunteered in Gawad Kalinga Bayani Challenge, and asked mama to be with me. It was held in San Remigio. We found new friends who are fellow volunteers - Team Hugot!

June 2014 - March 2015

Third year in law school.

November 2014

I went home to surprise my father on his birthday, but he was rushed to the hospital on that day due to severe stomach pains. He was hospitalized for four days. Thank God, he is fine now.

December 2014

Bianca, Niña and I got our very first tattoo done by no other than Sir Carlo Gabiana.

January 2015

Mama and I volunteered in Gawad Kalinga Daanbantayan Profiling.

I was diagnosed with acute gastritis.

Ate Ira came home after a year of working abroad and stayed here for forty days.

I celebrated my 23rd birthday.

February 2015

I suffered from acute pharyngitis and fever.

We spent happy time with the family as Ate Love, Blake, Juancio, Tito Jay and ate Yak came here for a vacation.

March 2015

I was absent for almost three weeks from school, because of my gastritis and fever. The pain is unbearable that I just curl up in bed, crying.

April 2015

I had an endoscopy in order to check my stomach. It sucks. I do not want to undergo endoscopy ever again. Sadly, I have erosive gastritis. My entire stomach was swollen and was full of wounds. The bile would also go up my stomach instead of going down to my small intestines. I am almost positive for H. Pylori bacteria. I have to avoid stress and certain types of food, such as coffee, chocolates, tea, milk, citrus fruits, spicy food, fatty food, etc. This is probably one of the hardest challenges in my life. This gastritis is chronic. The doctor said that it will never go. If I become too stressed or if I eat those food, I will experience pain again. Sometimes, I don't even know what to eat anymore. Health is wealth. I'm learning that lesson the hard way.

May 2015

Enjoying the remaining days of my summer vacation with family and friends.

I wrote that poetry above on October 2014, but I only posted it on March, because I honestly thought that I was dying due to the pain that I was feeling. I always try to think positively, but sometimes the negative thoughts would creep into my mind. I was depressed. I thought I had cancer or something. I was always crying. I was so down. I just wanted to stop. I wanted the world to stop. I was suffering too much, that I wanted the world to wait for me.

Right now, I don't know what the world holds for me. One thing I know for sure, God is with me. Whatever happens, He will be with me on my road to recovery; in my fight; in my journey. He will never leave me. I have failed God so many times, but God forgives me countless times. I can never thank Him enough for being with me all throughout. God's love for me is beyond measure and beyond comprehension. I am a sinner, but I am a believer. I believe in God. I believe in the universe. I believe in myself. I will be okay. Everything is gonna be okay. In Jesus' name. Amen.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

(1 Corinthians 13:13)

The Fault In My Planet

When I look at the death of other people, I cry. Not because of the death of the departed, but because of the agony of the ones who are left behind. The dead is gone. He does not feel anymore. He does not need my tears or my lamentations. But the family and friends bearing all the sadness of his passing… these are the ones whom my heart aches for. Because they are alive and they can feel the pain of loss and longing. They are hurt, while the dead is not. I yearn to console them with all of my being, but how, that I do not know. I can never master the art of comforting people.

This is even true in case the departed is a loved one, not just someone who I do not know or do not care about. I will cry hysterically and question the universe, question God. I will initially never understand why that person has to be taken away from us; why he has to leave. I will mourn. However, after accepting the fact of death, and after my brain has processed the information, I see my other loved ones grieving. That is when I feel a greater and deeper wound forming inside of me. I feel an obligation to somehow fill in the void that was created by death; to complete the emptiness. However, this will never hold true if my father dies, because he is my life - the very core reason of my existence;  my pressure point. He is an exception to everything that I have ever believed in. I have to be strong for others and to go on with life for my remaining loved ones, I have to live for my mother, but what do you do of a dead soul? What do you make of a spiritless human body?

A reflection after reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, after crying yesterday night trying to comfort my cousin who was missing her deceased father, after watching John Watson mourn over Sherlock’s fake death, and other circumstances where too many a times I’ve realized this. I did not cry when Augustus died. I thought that maybe because I was never in love so I cannot imagine losing the great love of my life (which is non-existent). But I cried when Morrie died in Tuesday’s with Morrie even if I had no dying teacher when I read it. I did not cry about Hazel’s reaction, but I was very concerned on how she was doing; how she was coping, and I felt like I had to comfort her in some way. I thought I was going to cry a bucket of tears when reading this book, but the truth was, I was only teary-eyed at some point, but it was only after reading the last part of Augustus’ letter that my tears cascaded.

"You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers".  --Augustus Waters, The Fault In Our Stars

The quote strikes me profoundly, because I am hurt. That is a fact that the universe knows. I have scars, but I love the person who hurts me. I don’t just like my choices, I love my choices.

And if I will ever leave a legacy, which are too often scars, the world must know my story that I love my father so deeply and vastly as the universe despite the reality that he is the one and only person who hurts me the most.

I love my mother so deeply and vastly as the universe, but she does not hurt me as much. Her love for me and my siblings is immeasurable and beyond comprehension. But if she dies, my soul will live, because her soul will be there beside my soul, holding it, embracing it, nurturing it, just like what mothers always do. Understand that I may love them differently, but I love them equally.

Love,
Mars Gemilga

The Road to Happiness

Smile! :)

Oh, hello guys! Did you miss me? I know it has been decades since I updated my blog. I must admit, I lost my love for blogging. I honestly lost myself last year. It was difficult. Everything just blew out of proportion. Everything was broken and the pieces scattered across the universe. It was somehow impossible to find those pieces and put them back together. Imagine how vast the universe is. I got so wounded and damaged. A broken soul lost in the infinite space; wandering and floating aimlessly. My uncle, who I treated as second father, passed away last December. The year ended with tragedy. I welcomed 2014 with sorrow. 

I stopped. I was static, but the world did not stop for me. The world will never stop for anyone. It will continue to rotate and revolve, so I had to move. I had to fix myself. I cannot stay that way. Where was the happy, lively, positive Marcel? Where is the warrior spirit of Mars? I know I had to stand up and get myself back on track. Life will never run out of drama. Life is fucked up. It's a given. The way you handle yourself and the way you face life's absurdities will make you who you are. No matter the circumstances, you strive to be a better person. You fight for happiness. 

I am Mars, the God of War, the victorious warrior planet, 

and I am waging a war for happiness to reign in the universe.

Happiness is a  state of mind. You decide to be happy. It is your choice. You master your mind and create happiness all around you. There is so much to be thankful for and to be happy about. Yes, we have problems. Honey, I know what darkness is. I know it very much. I've been there for so long. In fact, there is still darkness in my life, but my sunshine is too bright that the darkness burns and fades into nothingness. You are too beautiful and amazing to stay under the dark. Do not let anyone dull your sparkle. Let your light shine, darling. You have the capacity to live a wonderful life. 

Of course, it is okay to be sad. It is okay to cry. We are still humans after all (but I claim to be a superhuman). What is important is that we do not dwell in that state of sadness. Allow yourself to feel the pain, but after that, let it go. Release the pain and sadness. Think of happy thoughts. Do something you love. Enjoy the world. Life is magnificent if you change your perspective. Change the way you see the world and everything will be bearable. My life is too far from perfect, but I am enjoying my journey because I see beauty in everything. 

We are powerful. You have the power to give meaning to your life. Master that. Share that power to your community. Sprinkle positivity and good vibes everywhere. Raise your flags, beautiful warriors. Spread happiness! 

Calolot Mountain Resort

Who said resorts can only be found in beaches and seas? Even mountains can have resorts, too, you know. But if you were to ask the elementary me on what to name this swimming area, I would rather call it a spring. Spring is more fitting than a resort, that was what I thought when I was a kid. Since I'm not the owner, my voice has no value. Besides, it's too trivial a matter to push for. And you know what? It is indeed a resort, because it's a place that people often go to for relaxation and recreation (according to thefreedictionary). See? I had to read its meaning to enlighten the little brain that I have.

Despite this enticing hill across the river, let us take a break from my trekking series, shall we?

Calolot Mountain Resort is located in the municipality of Tambulig, Zamboanga del Sur. Tambulig is a neighbor of my hometown, Molave. I usually spend a month of my summer vacation in Tambulig (as I did this summer), because most of my relatives are there. Calolot Mountain Resort is popularly called Reservoir. I honestly do not know the reason behind, but my theory tells me that it's probably the source of water in the town. Hence, the Reservoir term. The water from this mountain is oozing and unlimited, and has no turn off power. It flows freely, without any dam to store and regulate the flow (or maybe there is a dam or storage that I do not know of). My heart aches at that fact, thinking of how limited our supply of water is in the urban areas. Well, nature has it's unique way, and I hope that this water will flow forever.

Strutting the Mango sunglasses, which sadly, is not mine. Boo.

Buddies in photo ops. By that, I mean, they take every opportunity to have photos of themselves.

My dear cousins, have pity to the life preserver/salbabida.

Cold swimming pool! This is the adult area. There is a children's pool in the other side.

Effortlessly defying the strong current of the river. Brave cousins, nephews, and nieces.

Calolot Mountain Resort used to be the sole place in Tambulig which has swimming pools, but now, a new swimming pool was opened in Dolino's Der Garten Resort. I'll blog about that in another entry. By the way, Calolot Mountain Resort is very affordable. Their entrance fee is 20php, I think, which can still be haggled. Children are free to enter. Their cottages are only 100 to 200php, I suppose, and can also be haggled. They have no corkage fee. There are stores inside, but I think they do not sell viands. When you are in Zamboanga del Sur, I hope you can visit this resort. It also very easy to get there. One can ride a motorcycle from the public terminal, public market or the crossing, and it may cost 10 to 20php. Relaxation and recreation at a low cost!

Discover Mindanao. It's more fun in the Philippines!


Date: April 23, 2013

Summer Trekking Part 2 of 4

The day after my first summer trekking this year, we trekked again to the same mountain. We sort of had a picnic on top of the mountain to celebrate the birthday of my aunt. We planned to let the night dim on us. We then had bonfire when night caved in. We went down in the evening. It was quite scary to spend the night in the mountain, because of some monster myths, but we were having too much fun that we shun the fear away. The adventurous spirit in us deserves a slow clap.

Powers!

Scorpion!

Dragon? Seahorse? Duck? What do you see?

My brother has a ghost twin.

Credits to Indie for the photos.

The most fun picnic I ever had! It rained in the afternoon, so we had to seek a roof to save us from getting wet. Good thing there was a little hut near the area. We ate our dinner there and shared our food with the owners. We literally had a boodle fight! A first.


Date: May 1, 2013

Summer Trekking Part 1 of 4

Trekking is my sport or hobby. I do trekking almost every summer, and I consider it as the most fun adventure, mainly because I do not suck at it as I do in most sports. More than that, I trek with my family and relatives. As I always say, whatever I do, if I do it with my family, that activity will always be special.

Credits to Indie for the photos.

I'm making this post short and brief, because there are still more posts coming. I, myself, am baffled on where I am drawing my energy from to blog multiple posts in a day. Oh well. I regret nothing.


Date: April 30, 2013

The Mactan Newtown

Honestly, I have no informative content about Mactan Newtown. This post is just my way of proclaiming that I am back into blogging, inspired by the word "new" from Newtown. The resurrection of my blog. I had one of the best summers. I may not have traveled to different tourist spots and all, but I've spent my summer with the people I love, and we did extreme adventures. That's my kind of thing. Family + Adventure = Happiness. Nothing can replace the moments spent with my family. It's just priceless. Pardon me for being sentimental. I am back in Cebu, after a month of vacation in my homeland. I miss my relatives. Now, enough with that. Let's get back on track.

As of April 2013, McDonald's was the only food chain in Mactan Newtown.

Cute dolphin fountain! Notice that big roof over there? That's a Catholic church. Mactan Newtown is actually just across that church.

Summer sunset.

A view from the inside of McDo.

I feel safe in Mactan Newtown. Notice the guard? They were roving around while we were there.

Hopefully, there are new additions in what we dub as the IT Park in Lapu-Lapu City, aside from Pueblo Verde. I actually like Mactan Newtown. I can't wait for more restaurants to open up there, soon. My gastronomy will make me fatter. Visit Mactan Newtown, okay?

ZOOmbie Apocalypse

Nope, I did not misspell zombie with a double O. I intentionally spelled it that way. By the way, it's summer!!!!!!!!! Forgive me for the multiple exclamation points. You know how summer makes me feel. Since it's summer, I'm going to blog about backlog posts. Another backlog post. What's new?  My blog's now immune on backlog posts. Inactive blog is what I pay for a successful first year of law school. We need to sacrifice sometimes. Please let me be joyful and thankful for that. Praise the Lord!

On to my entry. Last October 2012, my best friends and I went to Cebu Zoo. However, on the night before, I slept over at Leslie's house. The day after, we went to Meg's house. Then, we went to Cebu Zoo. When night caved in, we went to a Zombie House. Is the ZOOmbie spelling clear now? I really had to narrate the events in a chronological order to show the connection, and to make my point with the ZOOmbie. Zoo + zombie = zoombie. Get it? har har.

Excuse us for our vanity. It's unusual.

Meg's cute siblings. Mira's Halloween costume!

Aren't we cool? Scaredy cat cool.

Check our videos out! They're our videos in the Zombie House. It was hella fun! The best Zombie House I've ever been to. Well, it's the first zombie house I've been to, but I've been to some horror houses in the past. Believe me, this one is not an ordinary horror house. We had to collect 4 items in 7 minutes and protect ourselves from the zombies by shooting them! It was action-packed. Plus! They film our Zombie House experience and upload them on YouTube. Super cool! I sure do hope that there will be a Zombie House 2013. Please like FMJ & CO and perhaps contact them.

Meg and Mars (Stage 2 and Run - Stage 1)

Leslie and Jethro (Stage 2)

Leslie and Jethro (Run - Stage 1)

Happy summer, guys. Don't bask too much under the sun. Enjoy! :)

The Comeback: Christmas, New Year, and 2012 Reflection

First off, I would like to apologize to my readers, if any, for my long hiatus. Warning: A long hiatus deserves a long blog post. I know it's a TL;DR situation that I am subjecting you right now. I freely accept that. I'm a contrast of taciturnity and loquacity; in between that spectrum - a living contradiction. And since I'm timid in real life (except with family and friends), I tend to blab so much in my blog, exercising my authority as a soul blabber in my jurisdiction.

I am also asking forgiveness from my blog for neglecting it for two months. I'm really sorry, my dear blog, but I would not promise to engage in blogging, again. Moreover, I would not lay down my excuses, reasons rather, of why I have not been updating my blog. I have yet to blog about a lot of things that have transpired in my life, some sad events, but mostly joyful moments. I always look to the positive aspect of any predicament. In fact, my positive energy just overflows even in such tragic events that others would misinterpret it as lack of care. I'm still in my happy mood despite everything, but I sulk and wallow over them once in a while. However, don't dwell on the negative aspects of life. Feel good, be happy, and think positively of the things you want to happen in your life.

The last quarter of the year has been an uphill struggle. I refuse to call it a downward slope, because I'm always aiming for the zenith of the mountain. I will rise. I may be badgered by trials along the way to the top, but I will dodge those attacks, or face them and surpass them eventually. I will not be pulled down. I will not let anyone or anything bring me down. I will move forward and upward. On that note, our family still celebrated Christmas and New Year even though my uncle (my mother's eldest brother) died on the first week of December and our five-year old relative, who spent Christmas with us, is suffering because of brain tumor. I pray for the eternal repose of my uncle, and for the health and survival of my relative. She's too young. I believe that God will heal her.

Happy Birthday, Jesus Christ! Merry Christmas, everyone! Allow me to adore my bokeh shots.

I love the Lakers/Kobe Bryant headphones and the Rilakkuma phone case so much, made obvious by the number of photos. Never mind that they came from me. Those red paper bags contain our gifts for Mama and Papa.

Oh. Mama and I's wacky poses. I'm a very bad influence to my mother, not so much to my sister.

Dinner at Dong Juan! Notice my mother, sister and I's newly dyed hair? New hair color for the new year! I also permed my hair, again.

Food porn! Well, omit the Christmas tree and Mama from the set, unless of course if you eat inedible things and you're a cannibal.

On the last day of 2012, I decided to go with Mama on her early morning exercise. No exercise for me, though, I consumed all my time taking photos of the scenery.

It's 6 o'clock in the morning, conversation got boring. That's not a typo, it was 6am when we went out. Yes, I managed to drag myself up that early. Almost impossible. See? Everything is possible. And, can you see the moon? I love the moon!

Last sunrise of the year 2012. What a beautiful feeling to witness! An early rainbow also made its way on the clear blue sky. The last rainbow I ever saw on the year 2012.

My second consecutive year of following the wear-clothes-with-polka-dots-every-new-year tradition. Mama bought a fake toy snake just for fun. She was born on the year of the snake. Snakes better not be traitors or else. If you betray me and my loved ones, well, I'm ready to sing ala Alicia Keys - it's called karma baby, and it goes around!

Happy New Year! Welcome, 2013! Allow me, yet again, to adore my bokeh shots.

In my inference, 2012 is the fastest year so far. Time absolutely flew so fast. I have not made a blog post about my reflection for the year 2012 as what I've done for the last, last year - A Reflection of my 2011. Since I'm too lethargic to make a separate post about that, I'm going to insert it in here, briefly. 

The most memorable moments of my 2012 are the following:

• January - I turned 20! Life is worth celebrating. My birthday's on the 31st. Calling out all generous people, I'm more than ready to accept gifts.
• March - I graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelor's Degree in Political Science. I don't feel good to brag about it, but I'm gonna brush my humility aside, so there.
• May - I planted a tree! One may consider this a trivial matter, but as a nature lover, planting a tree goes a long way for Mother Earth. I also spent the summer break with my family and relatives.
• June to October - I surpassed the first semester of my first year in Law school, and I think I'm a Dean's Lister. No final list posted on the bulletin yet, but the Secretary told me when I inquired about my scholarship/academic privilege.
• October - I watched Big Bang's Alive Galaxy Tour in Manila. I saw them in real life! Best night of my life, by far.
• November - I met Bo Sanchez and he signed my book, together with my best friends. Also, my best friend Leslie topped the teacher's board exam. Top 7! I'm so proud of her.
• December - Thanksgiving dinner for Leslie and birthday surprise dinner for my best friend Catherine. They're memorable, because I cherish every moment I spend with my best friends, namely, Meg, Leslie, Catherine, and Achellie. I rarely see them, and I love them. That simple.

Concise, but definitely events worth treasuring. I'm looking forward to a better year. Honestly, I'm looking forward for a great 2013. I have not made a list of my new year's resolution, because quite frankly, I tend to go astray from the path towards my goals. Usually, my resolutions are not life-long goals, but a simple change in lifestyle that will make me healthier as a whole - physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, intellectually, monetarily, and spiritually. 

I know exactly what my life-long goal is, and I am on that route right now. I am not just traversing a rocky, dilapidated road; I am climbing a sturdy, steep mountain. When I will reach the zenith of the mountain, where do I go next? As the Kobe System asks, "Where do you go from the top?", Kobe said, "You go over the top." Kobe may be my ultimate idol in the universe, but I won't completely adhere to the Kobe System, because, aside from it being a concept of humor and entertainment, I have my own system. I won't just go over the top, I will fly... which is basically going over the top, but through flying. Okay. Whatever. I am incoherent. You get the point. Moving on. Because at the top of that mountain, there I will find my wings, I will gain the power to fly, and I will fly from mountain to mountain to mountains upon mountains. Heck, I will even fly to outer space! Cue in R. Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly, or better yet, the cool Nicki Minaj's Fly featuring Rihanna. That's the Marcel x Kobe System. You're Welcome.