Thursday, July 28, 2011


Because I am not in the mood for blogging, Azkals just lost against Kuwait with 5-1 aggregate score, I found one thing that made me happy - 2NE1. The video is so pretty! NEON! The loss of Azkals is ugly, though.

2NE1's UGLY music video.

I still believe in Azkals, though. And even if they lost, #azkalswebelieve is the number 3 trending topic worldwide in Twitter. Because we Filipinos believe in Azkals.

Regarding the message of the song, I can only understand the chorus, I don't really think I'm ugly. I always believe that we are all beautiful, philosophically. I thought that we all have goodness within, and that's what makes us beautiful, even though we're ugly outside. Well, that's what I thought back in high school. I still think everyone is beautiful until now, however, with not the same reason. We have a beautiful mind. Our goodness and brutality on both sides of the spectrum. How good and evil people are. We have beautiful minds.

Back to the beauty point. I'm not really ugly. I'm fat, but not ugly. I am beautiful. Weh? But yeah, I sometimes feel that I'm ugly, ain't nobody wants to love me. Just like her, I wanna be pretty. I'm all alone. I'm always all alone. Sigh~

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Accessories are Boyfriends

My sister and I love accessories. We can't deny our being accessory addicts. They are our boyfriends. We just can't leave the house without a single piece of accessory attached to our body. Here are our most used and abused accessories. 

Aren't accessories just too cute and attractive?

More accessories could have been added into our collection if my sister and I didn't put a ban on our accessory shopping. We have to save and spend our money for more important matters than accessories. We've been successful in our accessory shopping ban, because we haven't been buying accessories for almost two months, now. Imagine the urge and temptation that we have to resist.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Edgy Corporate

In our International Relations, we are required to wear formal attire every meeting, which are on Saturdays. Last Friday night (not Katy Perry's song), I was preparing the corporate attire I'm gonna use for Saturday. I only tried the top and the blazer, because the skirt is no biggie. I was wearing my animal print boxer shorts; just a normal home get up. Yes, I wear boxer shorts, though they're a man's underwear. I am androgynous as ever.

When I wore the whole piece, they looked unintentionally exciting. I pulled two thin belts of different colors and added them to the get up, and BAM! I loved what I looked. It was a corporate attire, with the edge of the animal print shorts. Rawr! This is not what I wore to our class, though. I was just playing dress up.

yeah, the mirror is dirty, and don't mind my house slippers

Why does Adobe Photoshop (when adding watermark) make my photos grainy? Argh!

The Gorgeous Docketers

As I've said in my previous post, we're having our OJT this semester for Public Administration. Today marks the  15th duty hours of our OJT. 35 hours left! Ain't it cool? We're only required 50 hours, so we only have to work for more or less one month. We're cool like that.

Palace of Justice. Look how cute and funny Niña poses and smiles. hee

Jel ~busy docketing criminal cases.

Niña ~busy docketing criminal cases as well. Yes, she got her own table like I do.

Grace, Lordee and Star ~busy docketing civil cases.

My very own left hand, and no, I'm not left-handed.

The bundle of civil cases that Grace, Lordee, and Star have to docket.

The criminal cases with the corresponding docket books which I have to docket.

The personnel in the office are very kind and approachable and might I add, funny. They are also very generous. They always treat us snacks. We sure will miss them when we're done with our OJT.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why KOBE Needs to Slap My Face

"Can you just come here in Cebu, Kobe? PLEASE. I beg you on my knees. When you come here in the Philippines, can you come here in Cebu? You have been in Manila for a few times, so give me a chance to see you, Kobe. Come to CEBU, Kobe." -with all my heart, mind, and soul,  Mars
I have tried to stop talking and thinking about Kobe as of the moment. I know I should not be writing this, because I am actually making myself more sad. The more I think about it, the more I become hurt.

Kobe's gonna be in Manila this July 13 (he is even now in the Philippines as I breathe). Tickets will be (were) given  for FREE at Nike and somewhere in The Fort, Manila on July 2. Only two tickets per person; first come - first serve policy. There was another way to get tickets, but they were too exhausting. If only the tickets weren't for free, we could just buy for ourselves without undergoing the hassle, and without us (or someone we could ask) necessarily being there on July 2.

I was ecstatic when I read about this news. Kobe has been coming here in the Philippines and I NEVER get to see him, EVER! I am such a LOSER Laker/Kobe fan. My sister already searched for flights to Manila on the 13th and we were all ready to book tickets. I told Papa to go ask someone he know from Manila to get tickets for us. I was even laughing so loud when he told me he was gonna ask (Ex)Congressman Real. What? My dad would literally let Congressman Real line in with a huge crowd just to get tickets for us? Damn! I have much respect for him. I can't just ask him to do that. Unfortunately yet again, we weren't able to get tickets for Kobe. I wouldn't expect much for Papa to remember and even try his best for this trivial matters. Kobe is never trivial for me and my sister, but Papa is not a big fan. He just told me we're just gonna watch Kobe in Staples someday.

Watching KOBE play live in Staples Center has always been my dream. However, my chances are getting slimmer and slimmer each day. We can't deny the fact that Kobe is getting old. He also has injuries that are too severe; that he has been just carrying for so long. The possibility of an NBA lockout this season is also an addition to the problem. Kobe may not play, again. I honestly did not have any idea about this problem. I just thought Kobe would be okay and that he'll play again. However, after reading this post: Is the end nearing for the Los Angeles Lakers’ Kobe Bryant? Fan’s opinion, I was bathing in tears. The article was just a fan's opinion, but it has some truth in it. These are sad possibilities that he's talking about, but I will always believe that Kobe can surpass them all.

I just hope that Kobe will not stop. I believe that Kobe will continue playing in the NBA until I see him play live in Staples Center. Kobe will stay until I reach that dream. He will not fail me. Kobe and God will not fail me. I believe that Kobe and GOD will make my dream come true.

Saturday, July 09, 2011


The vibe of a childish freshman is striking back at me. Back in first year, my friends and I used to chase our crushes in the corridors and streets. Peeking whenever they pass by. I even remember how we give them code names, since we don't know who most of them are. All those giddy behavior. All those funny scenarios. Nostalgia.

I ran out our crushes last semester. No one gave me inspiration. No one made me giddy. There are those guys who grab my attention, but only momentarily. There's really no special someone. No someone who I can label a crush. I guess I got used to all the handsome faces in TC. 

Since we're back in Main, I see new faces. Handsome, hot, cute, geeky, and nerdy. Oh! They all attract me. However, I now realize why I don't have a crush. I only realized it after my friends and I talked about why we don't have crushes, anymore. Lordee was the one who spelled all the words out. We have no crush because when a guy catches our attention, we don't get to see them again. We just see them once, and we say in our mind "Oh my God! He's so cute!", but after that, we're lost. It's so transient. The fact that we don't know them, that we don't get to see them after we get attracted to them, is the reason why we don't have a crush. We like them but only for that exact moment. When they are out of sight, that's the end of our liking.

There was once when I came across a very cute and handsome guy one night while passing outside Sto. Rosario church. We were walking at opposite ways. He was staring at me. I saw him staring at me, but I continued talking to my friends and looking at where we were going. He caught my eyes, again, and he was still staring at me. He was walking but he was staring at me. I am sure of that. I shun away my eyes from him and talked with my friends, again, but when he caught my eye yet again, I saw him staring at me. He could have bumped to anything, but he was looking at me. I think when we passed by each other, he still turned his head and still gave me his last glimpse, and so did I. It happened so fast. I dropped the words, "It's so weird", but I didn't explain why. He got me. His stare sold me. He was so cute and handsome, and he was looking at me all the way. What sane girl would not have a crush on that guy? Sadly, after that lovely moment, I didn't see him, again. I forgot his face, all I remember is that he was super cute and handsome. That is the reason why I don't have a crush, because my encounter with that guy was so fast and momentary.

This week, I had TWO crushes. The one guy sold me with his nose pierce. He is so cute and he was so masculine while approaching the Wrockledge table with his group of friends. He has fair white skin. He has a beautiful face and eye lashes. Unfortunately, based on our observation, he is gay. In their group, all were females except him and another guy who Lordee said was gay. He puts loose powder on his face like a girl. His eye lashes were abnormally beautiful and curly to be in a guy's eyes. When he talks, his gestures are of a gay's. That really made me sad. Just when I have a crush, my crush is gay. I can now relate to Chrisia when she had a crush with a gay guy. The other guy sold me with his Paolo-ish Pascual-ish face. He looks like Paolo Pascual, and Paolo Pascual is my most recent Azkal obssession. Why would I not be attracted to him? But I don't know, maybe it's just me who thinks his face has similarities with Paolo. This guy is wearing eye glasses, and like me, he removes his eye glasses every now and then. We are so similar. Weeh! I'm getting giddy for that fact. Aside from that, he has a cute smile like Paolo Pascual. And I don't know, maybe it's just me, but he's staring at me as much as I am staring at him. We always catch each other's eyes. Feeling flighty. I am so hoity-toity with these guys. Unfortunately again, he has a petite body compared to my circumferentially disadvantaged body. I think he is a first year student, and I'm a fourth year. I am corrupting minors. LOL. 

Mehn! When will I ever get lucky with my crushes? I feel so sad and lonely. What is wrong with me? Am I too anti-social? Geez. Maybe I should imitate Jenna Marbles' straightforward attitude towards someone she likes. It's just too scary to approach a guy and tell him I like him. I have reputation and dignity to consider. I can't just do that. I stay by my dalagang Pilipina mode when it comes to that, only to that. I am actually conservative in "me-guy" situations.

To put my conservative "me-guy" situation concretely, here's my V-hire experience. While I was lining for the V-hire, there was a guy one person ahead of me, and his two friends were behind me. His face was a thumbs up. In the V-hire, he sat beside me together with his friends. He was pressing on my shoulders and elbow. I think he really wanted that electric touch between us, but I kept calm. Of my whole life riding V-hires, it was only him who was leaning on me. It was not the ordinary side-by-side space you get in a V-hire. Sometimes, yes, you only get too little space between you and the person beside you, but this guy is too much. He was leaning on me. He would also lean on front and just stare at me for minutes. It was so awkward. He was making his moves. Good thing, I got my headphones on, or else I'll have no choice but to talk with that prick. Yes, his appearance may seem okay, but his approach is so not okay. I won't be sold for a guy who does that. Does he do that to every girl he sit beside? I'm sorry, but his moves were so cheap. I won't be sold for that, really. If it wasn't for the good music I was listening, and if I was in a bad mood that night, I could have told him to buzz off and stopped goofing around, I could have quarreled with him. I just had to compose myself and kept calm.

See? I am conservative in a "me-guy" situation, but when I'm with friends and we're having fun, that word is non-existent.

I hope my gay crush a.k.a Gay Lord is not really gay. I hope my Paolo-ish Pascual-ish crush is not a freshman. I hope to find a real crush, real soon. Wish me luck.

School Drool Drum Roll

The sloth that has possessed me since my birth has a very huge chance of not leaving my body. Thus, it has continued to impede my activities, especially blogging.

Given this chance to post, and this is actually a strive for me - a battle - I shall grab this opportunity to blog. I battle my laziness and detain it for a few moment to keep it from interrupting and further delaying my blogging phenomena.

School has started last June, and I haven't even blogged about my endeavors thereafter. Huh! Sloth it is. Well, let's drop the word and move on. School in an academic manner doesn't really give me sparks. Excitement for school is only brought about by my love for my college friends. I cannot wait to hang out with them, and do all the loud laughs and chit chats. Tombs Society is the funniest, I must say. I just love our group, no matter what.

School days has been quite busy, but we're fourth year students, graduating. It's really true that when you reach fourth year, you won't be as busy as you were in the previous years, specifically the third year busy days. I feel busy but I am not stressed that much. Well, the school year had just began. I have yet to prepare for the upcoming months.

Our schedule is amazingly amazing. LOL. MWF classes start at 3:30. My happiness is beyond my happy meter. Who wouldn't love that? 3:30 class only means MORE sleeping time. Sleeping is my talent. However, my TTH classes start at 10:30, but at least it's not 7:30, right? Our breaks are long enough to spend eating snacks (my wallet is sad, my fat body is sadder) and never-ending chikas! The downside of our schedule is that we have evening classes. To think of me having to travel one hour or more before reaching my abode is so stressing. What's more stressing and frightening is that I walk the dangerous streets going home. I must have a taser, a pepper spray or a stun gun to protect myself from evil-possessed people. I really wanna live just near the school to avoid the travel time and the scary night entities. So boo for that. We also have Saturday classes for International Relations. Our diplomat teacher requiring us to wear formal attire each meeting ignited me. I dread wearing formal attires. It's my weakness. I feel so ugly and ridiculous. However, I'm starting to appreciate it. I don't loath it that much, now. It's actually a good training ground.

We are now back to the Main Campus. Destiny has been toying with us, political science people. We spent our first year in the main campus, but we transferred to TC when we were in second year, and still spent our third year there. Now that we are fourth years, we're back to main. It's kind of funny how inconsistent our minds are. When we had to transfer to TC back then, we we're all complaining. Now that we're back to main, we are still complaining. I love both Main and TC. I love main because my transportation and travel time going there is way much better than going to TC. Our building has an elevator, which is so cool. There's no elevator in TC. However, TC is big. It's not overcrowded, there's the nature and forest and cool winds and breeze, unlike the polluted hot air in main. In Main, there are lots of pick-pockets. Star had been a victim just recently. LA LA LA, whatever. It's actually a good thing that we are both Main and TC people.

Most exciting part - OJT, baby! I don't know if all people would agree to me that OJT is exciting, because we just do clerical stuff, but for job experience in an office is pretty exciting and interesting. It's a whole new experience! Our OJT is in the MTCC Office of the Clerk of Court in the Palace of Justice. We were divided into two. The other half dockets disposed civil cases, the other half dockets disposed criminal cases. Having a criminal mind, I immediately jumped towards the table of criminal cases. It's the job I long to be in. Docketing is just writing, but reading about crimes is my thing. I just love crimes. Happiness beyond happy meter, again. However, there's always a con in every thing, and in our OJT, it is the early schedule. Our duty hours are from 9:00am to 12:00pm. Early schedule means I have to wake up early, ride the ferry boat uncomfortably with the huge crowd, and LESS sleeping time. I have to suffer for a month or so for this. At least, docketing criminal cases gives me the motivation.

To wrap things up, the first month of the school year, of being a fourth year graduating student, is fun and exciting. I'll keep my fingers crossed for more good things and less stress (or no stress at all) to come. ¡Hasta luego!

Sunday, July 03, 2011

The Best Guy Friends

I don't have a best friend who is a guy, but I have best friends who are guys. Not one, but many. And I freaking miss them so much.

My sister and I's usual vacation destination is in Tagcatong, Carmen, Agusan del Norte, aside from our hometown and Zanette's. Back then, that placed used to be a paradise. Even my brother admits that he treated it as one; the nature, the beach, the ocean. Now, my bro claims that it's a place full of liberated people. Teens getting pregnant and stuff reinforces his claim. I agree with him, but I still see Tagcatong a paradise in a shallower level.

I have been contemplating on what to write on my blog. Without writing my emotions, I feel that spiderwebs and dust are slowly raveling my blog. It's like an old, creepy, abandoned house. However, I saw these special gifts the other day when my sister Lovely cleaned our altar ( yes, we're weird coz we put just about anything on our altar). These gifts were given to us (my sister and I) from our guy friends. They're already dusty and dirty, because they're about 6 years old, but I'll still cherish these dusty stuff.

Tracing back to antiquity, year 2005 to be more exact, my sister and I met this group of guys in Tagcatong. They're a dance group, and as much as I dislike to state the name of the group due to it's humiliating name, I feel the need of it. They called themselves MRD, which stands for Most Requested Dancers. See? The group name is so humiliating. We became close and good friends, together with our fellow Totoot Gal, Christine. She's a childhood friend of ours. There were other guys who are not part of the dance group, but they became part of our barkada as well.

Everyday of that summer, we hang out. We make good laughs, tell the silliest jokes, do the funniest things, and kid around. We'd gather, strum the guitar, and sing. We'd eat barbecues, ice drops, and muncher (the green peas snack). We drink. We'd hang out at the beach. We stay at a place and make a nuisance, because of our loud voices and laughter. We even had lasting phrases that really marked like Sam Milby's "I never said that I love you". They'd make a drama and fool us. As a revenge, we'd make a drama that's more dramatic and fool them. We'd feel a tad bit crossed to each other, then forgive each other, eat, and laugh, again. Some of them grew feelings towards us. Feelings sprung, but "walang talo-talo". We shut away those, because friendship is much more important. If I have to write all the things we did together with these jerks, I would just tire my lazy self, so I digress from that. To epitomize it, we're crazy, we're abnormal, we're happy, we're friends.

Before we went back home to Cebu that summer, they gave us a gift, perhaps a token of our friendship; a remembrance. It was so cute and sweet of them to do so, because they're guys. They are the best guy friends, ever. We left them. We bid our goodbyes, though it was heart-aching, we had to. We never forgot about them. We kept in touch with them, but after months and years later, we lost touch.

My sister and I rarely go there after summer 2005. Well, we went there a year later, but after that, our yearly vacation there stopped. In my case, I came back there three years later. We met an incomplete group, the MRD has dissolved. We hanged out with them at Christine's pad one night and had fun, though. Two years later, I came back to Tagcatong. Each of them went on with their life. Christine was pregnant. Sad news about it was that she's younger than me. I'm 19 and she's about 16. Another sad story is that the one who impregnated her was my cousin who already has a wife and a son. I didn't get to hang out with her because of that issue. She already gave birth last month. Our guy friends are away to other places, working or studying. One of them cannot walk. He had been in a severe motor accident. One already has a family of his own. I only saw two of them last summer. The one I only got talk once for a few minutes. The other one, I didn't get to talk to, but we just exchanged messages.

I was sad, honestly. My summer in Tagcatong could have been more meaningful, fun, exciting, and adventurous if they were there; if my sister Ira was also there; if all of us hanged out just even once. They really occupy a space in my heart. They are special to me and my sister. We care for them, we miss them, we love them.

These are their gifts to us. The shell was for me given by a used-to-be special someone. The tiny bottle was for sissy Ira, the big bottle was for me. I only got the sarcasm behind these vials, now. My sister was thin so she got a thin vial, I was fat so I got a fat vial. These evil guys! Heartily-made my ass!

The writing on the vials say: Eiw Vacha... Ira/Sheilou I love you.

Eiw Vacha was one of our funny, distinct phrases. Only one person in the group honestly knows what this really means, but we made fun out of it. Whatever this means, I'll just smirk.